Although my first year of university came to its close a month ago, and I have everything settled for when I go back to Halifax in September, I still feel like I am at a greater and more complicated crossroad than before.
Last May, I was home with my parents and ready to finish my last year in High School. I couldn’t wait for prom, I already had plans for the first weeks of freedom and I was feeling confident about my place in the world. I’d just decided to attend the University of King’s College with one of my best friends and I was excited for a change, enthralled at the idea of University, and ready to take on whatever came next.
While I was a little nervous about my parents moving down south to Georgia, I was more excited about having a tropical getaway at Christmas and the shopping that I would get to do there; instead of worrying about them being far away.
It didn’t take me long to realize how hard it would be to have my home in Toronto, my family in Georgia and my school in Halifax. I think it will take a bit more adjusting to perfect the art of straddling all three cities, but for now, I think I’ve done what I can to make it work for my life.
I am currently living and working in Toronto. While I’m happy I made the decision to come back, I know that I will never be able to feel quite as stable here again. Without my old house and my parents, even this city feels a little foreign. But I’m excited about making my own home here. Even though it still feels too soon to be so far away from my parents and siblings, I think I’ll be all right.
My project for this summer is to create a life for myself as an individual. I think that it’s my time to figure out my own life without others sculpting it for me. I guess I’ve reached the point in my life where I can grow the way I want too; I can figure out who I want to be and where I need to be.
Who do you want to be?